Coming back from Uganda was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. It was only an 11 day trip, but so much happened and I'm not sure that I have fully processed it all. Don't get me wrong...I was ready to come home! But normalcy is killing me. I have conflicting emotions about what is next for me. I'm dying to just live and breath among family and friends and to be comfortable in my every day life, but at the same time my soul longs to do something meaningful. I feel like my job is meaningless. I mean...I make pastries. How is that advancing the kingdom of God in this broken world!?! It is obviously where God wants me right now, but it just sucks! I'm good at what I do, but there's no passion in it for me...no drive to be an amazing pastry chef or to even move up the chain in the restaurant. When I came back from my trip I was supposed to move to a different restaurant, but I don't even want to mention it because I know my heart is not fully here and it would not be fully in the job. It's going to take a lot of work to transition down to the other restaurant...and frankly...I just don't want to put my energy in to it. So for now I'm going to try and keep that on the DL.
Once a month the singles group at OMPC goes to feed the homeless at Linn Park. Last month was my first experience with that in Birmingham. It's a lot different than going in Las Vegas, but you still have the same people...lost and broken. Going to Uganda just changed the way that I see everything in life. Now...serving others is just a necessity. I'm not sayin' it's easy. I just feel a lot more drawn to do it now. I mentioned in my journal from Uganda that holding and loving the children was so easy to do there...it was more like Jesus was holding me through them. I feel like I am learning more about Jesus through touching, loving and hanging out with the forgotten, the fatherless and the unloved.
I NEVER thought I would say that I was looking forward to serving the homeless...I think it felt more like a chore to me...like it's my duty as a Christian so that was my only motivation. This past week...I was truly excited about going. And now I am not afraid to dive deeper and begin to invest my heart into their lives. It's easier to love "the least of these" when you realize that you are no better than any one of them. God has so generously blessed me and it is my privilege to try and bless another. When you invest in them, in return, God blesses you. It's a win win situation on most days!
Julie and I got the chance to hang out with one of the ladies...Latonya Renee Smothers. It's easier for me to talk to them with Julie because she seems to have more of the right words to say. Latonya cracked us up, threatened to "fork" us, and would only take the water bottles with the squeezy top. They are pretty picky, but you know, I probably would be too. Latonya grew up in DHR and now her 3 living children are all in the system too. I can't remember their crazy names but they all have Renee as their middle names and each one has a different "baby daddy." She's had a hard life and I can only call to mind and hope in Christ that his steadfast love will never cease for her. And when I don't ever have the right words to say...that he would speak to her through our touch, abounding in love because he first loved us.
Peaches...we need to go visit our friend! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment